DWTS 13: Compare samba

SAMBA

Ricki Lake and Derek Hough

• “Jump in the Line” – Harry Belafonte
• 30 (10,10,10)

J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff 

• Score: 28 (9,9,10)
•  ”Conga” by Gloria Estefan

Robert Kardashian & Karina Smirnoff

• “I Go to Rio” – Pablo Cruise
• Score: 28 (10,9,9)

Hope Solo & Maksim Chmerkovskiy :

• Score: 24
• “Werewolves of London” by Warren Zevon

Kristin Cavallari & Mark Ballas

• Score: 24 (8,8,8)
• “Crazy in Love” by Beyonce ft. Jay-Z

Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer

• 21 (7,7,7)
•  ”Get Down on It” by Kool & the Gang

DWTS: Chubby men, Chaz, Cher and the cha cha cha

I am thankful that Chaz Bono was voted off–not because he was transgender, not because he was an overweight man, but because he could not dance. His dances lacked content and he lacked stage presence.

Hope Solo, who is famous in her own right because of her athletic skills as a soccer player, is ungainly and needs to learn how to walk in heels (I’m afraid she only knows heel lead and her pivoting skills are closer to basketball than ballroom), but she has a mega-watt smile. If she were really angry, she’s be frightening as well.

Bono had been treated kindly by the judges and he’s been whiny–about how much physical discipline hurts at his age. Yet he’s not the oldest person on stage. Ricki Lake is about the same age and overweight, but she can perform.  And you’d think with a war vet in the cast, Bono would zip his lip about his suffering.

Now Chaz Bono’s mother has jumped into the fray. Bono forgets that Bruno Tonioli was a professional dancer and he’s still in pretty good shape. He recently posed nude for a charity. I’m not sure why Cher decided to lash out at Len Goodman.

I COULD TEACH HIS LITTLE ARM WAVING ASS SOME MANNERS ! Critique CHAZ’S DANCE STYLE, MOVEMENTS ETC,.BUT DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY CHILD ON NAT.TV

IS IT DWTS Or LOOKING PERFECT WTS? ITS EASY 4 HIM 2 TAKE CHEAP SHOTS AT CHAZ ! LET HIM COME 2 “MY” STAGE

Enough time wasted on Bully Judge! The nite I was there I had GREAT TIME!I Loved watching every1! I was So excited ! Laughing,talking FUN!

As for the Older Gentleman ….every Show Needs A Grumpy Old Man !

Goodman and Tonioli have been kind, perhaps too kind to this Los Angeles-born kid who is acting spoiled. Tonioli didn’t call Bono a troll. He called him a penguin. A cute penguin. Men in tuxes have been called penguins before. Nothing new. Tonioli called someone else a penguin. You can see below.

Tonioli also called Bono an Ewok. That is the warmest and fuzziest creature in the Star Wars universe.

If this is seriously a question of talent, Cher should admit her son doesn’t have it. If not for his famous mother and father, he wouldn’t be there.

How did other chubby men get treated? Let’s look at a few of them.

Kyle Massey (b. 1991)

• Season 11
• Partner Lacey Schwimmer
• Week 1: 23 (8,7,8) Cha cha cha
• Week 2: 22 (8,7,7) Quickstep
• Week 3: 23 (8,7,8) Waltz
• Week 4:  18 (6,6,6) Rumba
• Week 5: 20 (8,5,7) Foxtrot
• Week 6: 23 (8,7,8) Tango
• Week 7: 35 (10,9,8,8) Paso doble
• Week 8: 27 (9,9,9) Viennese waltz
• Week 8: 29 (10,9,10) Jive
• Week 9: 29 (10,9,10) Samba
• Week 9: 29 (10,9,10) Argentine tango
• Week 10: 27 (9,9,9) Foxtrot
• Week 10: 29 (10,9,10) Freestyle

Massey did well enough to make the finals and finished second. I don’t have time yet to check out Tonioli’s comments, but will try to post them later.

John Ratzenberger (b. 1947)

• Season 4 (Spring 2007)
• Partner Edyta Sliwinska
• Sixth couple eliminated
• Week 1: 17 (6,5,6) Cha cha cha
• Week 2: 21 (7,7,7) Quickstep
• Week 3: 20 (7,6,7) Tango
• Week 4: 16 (6,5,5) Paso doble
• Week 5: 18 (6,6,6) Samba
• Week 6: 19 (7,6,6) Mambo

Ratzenberger had a week less time to prepare than his fellow competitors as a replacement. Carrie Ann Inaba called him “charismatic.” Tonioli and Goodman talked about heel lead, but thought he had content.

Ratzenberger was 60.  Tonioli said there was “plenty of life in the old wolf.” Inaba said he gave it pizzaz. Goodman was smiling, and said it was a great performance.

Goodman said Ratzenberger got into character well. Tonioli called it a mafioso tango.

Ratzenberger’s mother was sweet as apple pie.  Tonioli said he lacked Spanish lines and was a bit lost.  Goodman said he thought the dance didn’t suit him and the dance was “a bit of disaster.”

The samba wasn’t good either. Low on content. Tonioli said Ratzenberger “tapped into his inner child” and one of the “best worst” samba. Inaba stood and applauded him. Goodman thought he gave the character of the dance.

Inaba called him a “dancing teddy bear.” Goodman thought the actual routine was awful and that Ratzenberger waddled like a duck, but Goodman liked that he enjoyed himself. Tonioli compared the two to the owl and the pussycat.

Steve Wozniak (b. 1950)

• Season 8 (Spring 2009)
• Partner Karina Smirnoff
• Fourth couple eliminated.
• Week 1: 13 (5,4,4) cha cha cha
• Week 2: 17 (6,5,6) Quickstep
• Week 3: 10 (4,3,3) Samba
• Week 4: 12 (4,4,4) Argentine tango

This dance was hard to watch. Goodman said he held his attention, but “overall it was a disaster.” Tonioli said it was “hilarious or delirious.” Inaba was encouraging. The Woz had fun.

The Woz had a fracture in his foot and wore a walking cast. Goodman thought he had the fun quality. Inaba enjoyed watching it. Tonioli compared him to WALL-E.

The Woz pulled a hamstring on Friday and still danced on Monday. Amazing. He did a knee walk and a worm. Inaba called him cute and adorable, but disliked the lack of content. Goodman thought the “dances are killing you” and the dance was terrible from start to finish. Tonioli called it the worst samba he had ever seen.

Inaba couldn’t find something positive to say. Goodman admired his spirit. Tonioli thought it “really stunk.”

WORST DANCERS

Master P (b. 1967)

• Season 2 (Winter 2006)
• Partner Ashly DelGrosso
• Fourth couple eliminated
• Winner: Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke
• Week 1: 12 (4,4,4) Cha cha cha
• Week 2: 16 (6,5,5) Quickstep
• Week 3: 14 (6,4,4) Jive
• Week 4: 8 (4, 2, 2) Paso doble
• Winner: Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough

Master P only had one week to prepare.  Tonioli compared Master P to an Emperor penguin.  Goodman thought he had good posture, but needed to practice. Goodman wanted to see Master P in ballroom shoes.

Goodman told him to get real dance shoes. Inaba called him heavy-footed. Tonioli said the “dancer is starting to emerge.”

Inaba thought he gave effort but not enough content. Tonioli found it was the “ghost of rock n’ roll” and not up to the level they were looking for. Goodman called it “ponderous” and thought it was time that this show and Master P parted.

Tonioli called it a nightmare as if Master P was a lost child on the dance floor. Goodman thought it was cruel to the judges and everyone for his fans to bring Master P back.

Buzz Aldrin (b. 1930)

• Season 10 (Spring 2010)
• Week 1: 14 (5,4,5) Cha cha cha
• Week 2: 12 (4,4,4) Foxtrot
• Week 3: 13 (5,4,4) Waltz
• Winner: Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough

Goodman commended him for his bravery on the dance floor. Tonioli asked how could he criticize a hero, but commented it looked like Aldrin still had his moon boots on.

Inaba called it tender and charming. Goodman just said Aldrin inspired people. Tonioli thought Aldrin looked like he was avoiding moon craters on the dance floor.

Tonioli thought Aldrin was regal when he was standing still. Inaba thought the storytelling was touching. Goodman found it had an innocent charm but the technique was poor and the routine oversimplified.

Michael Bolton (b. 1953)

• Season 11 (Fall 2010)
• Partner Chelsea Hightower
• Week 1: 16 (6,5,5) Viennese waltz
• Week 2: 12 (4,5,3) Jive
• Winner: Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough

Inaba thought Bolton needed to smile and provide the frame. Goodman thought he had musicality and good posture. Tonioli told Bolton he needed to relax.

Goodman found the dance didn’t fit him. Tonioli said “it was a doggy mess of a jive” and this was the “worst jive in 11 seasons.”

DWTS 13 Week 6: Oh, no no more Bono

Tonight, finally there was justice in the ballroom on “Dancing with the Stars.” After surviving eliminations that saw better dancers go and even an equally dance-challenged but campily fun celebrity elimination, finally Chaz Bono is leaving the ballroom. Chaz Bono and his partner Lacey Schwimmer were the lowest scoring team this week, but were only one point below Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Week 1

• Cha cha cha
• Score: 17 (6, 5, 6)
• “Dancing in the Street” by Martha & the Vandellas

Week 2

• Quickstep
• Score: 17 (6, 5, 6)
•  ”Love Is All Around” by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

Week 3: Most Memorable Year

• Rumba
• Score: 18 (6,6,6)
• “Laugh at Me” by Sonny Bono

Week 4: Movie Score

• Paso doble
• Score: 21 (7,7,7)
• “Gonna Fly Now” from “Rocky”

Week 5: 80s Week

• Samba
• Score: 21 (7,7,7)
• “Get Down on It” by Kool & the Gang

Week 6: Broadway Week

•  Tango
• Score: 19 (7,6,6)
• “The Phantom of the Opera” by Andrew Lloyd Webber from “The Phantom of the Opera”

Maksim Chmerkovskiy and his mighty mouth

Maksim Chmerkovskiy bills himself as the bad boy of the ballroom, but he knows what he’s talking about.  Haven’t fans been a little uneasy since Bristol Palin? So he had something to say last night on “Dancing with the Stars,” when Len Goodman told his celebrity partner Hope Solo that she had just performed her worst dance of the season.

That rumba wasn’t great, it wasn’t sexy, but at least Solo looks happy. She has such an electric smile, but it’s her footwork that is hard to watch.

So what exactly did Chmerkovskiy say?

It began with Goodman commenting, ”This is your worst dance of the whole season.” He continued, after admonishing Chmerkovskiy for encouraging the audience boos, by saying, “I’ve been in this business for nearly 50 years…”

Chmerkovskiy couldn’t resist adding, “Maybe it’s time to get out…”

At which time, Carrie Ann Inaba told Chmerkovskiy, “Don’t be disrespectful like that.”

Chmerkovskiy defended his comment by saying it hurts when the dancers and celebrities “hear you guys a little judgmental comment.” I think we can fault his English, but perhaps the comments of the judges go a bit far out of line.

Chmervkovskiy later said, “This is my show…I helped make it what it is” and he was tired of having the celebrities ”judged on their so-called potential.”

We also had high hopes for Hope Solo and didn’t figure out that her biggest challenge was learning to walk in high heels and be girly.

Yet, don’t you think the judges are being a little bit too easy on someone like Chaz Bono? We found Bono a little whiny, particularly since he’s not the oldest contestant. He’s also not the first overweight contestant either.

See the clips from “Access Hollywood” with Billy Bush and Kit Hoover

“Cute little penguin,” is what judge Bruno Tonioli called Bono and I thought that was kind. Bono and Schwimmer feel that the judges have a personal dislike of him. Seriously? Tonioli might have been unnecessarily cruel to singer Michael Bolton (“It was a doggy mess of a jive. You did it all very, very, very badly”), but he’s been quite kind and even indulgent to Bono in my opinion.

I think Goodman could have been stricter with Bono. Bono doesn’t have much personality on stage.

Remember, Chmerkovskiy spoke out about that season when the dancers and the celebrities were being overworked. That was the season Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson won the mirrorball. Season 9 the contestants were asked to perform:  cha cha cha, jive, rumba, tango, paso doble, samba, waltz, quickstep, foxtrot, Argentine tango, Viennese waltz, salsa, salsa/Viennese waltz relay, foxtrot/cha cha cha relay, two-step/Charleston/bolero/lambada, hustle group, mambo marathon, team paso doble/tango, megamix and freestyle.  Compare that to season 5. Marie Osmond made it to the semi-finals, but consider there were only these dances: cha cha cha, foxtrot, quickstep, mambo, jive, tango, Viennese waltz, paso doble, rumba, samba, and freestyle. That’s 11 dances during season 5 compared to 20.

Season 11 had only 15 dances, including one team and a winner-take-all cha cha cha. That season was won by Jennifer Grey who sometimes got tens when there were obvious missteps, but the judging seemed to be more generous when it became clear that Bristol Palin was going to make it to the semi-finals.

Chmerkovskiy’s partner that season was Grammy Award-winning singer Brandy. Brandy was cut, but Palin moved to the finals. Luckily the energetic and ever entertaining Kyle Massey with Lacey Schwimmer finished second. Chmerkovskiy’s partner during season 5 was Mel B who finished second behind Helio Castroneves (with Julianne Hough).

There are personalities that make DWTS interesting and certainly Maksim Chmerkovskiy is one of them. He makes the show interesting–in terms of choreography and his clashes with his partners.

Without personalities like Chmerkovskiy, Julianne Hough, Derek Hough, Tony Dovolani and Cheryl Burke, I don’t think the show would have been successful.

And when things get a bit dull, it’s good to have pros who liven up the situation (or even a judge like Bruno Tonioli).

DWTS 13: Compare Paso Doble

Ricki Lake & Derek Hough

• Score: 27 (9, 9, 9)
• “Sweet Dreams” by Beyoncé

Rob Kardashian & Cheryl Burke

• Score: 24
• Theme from: “Superman”

David Arquette & Kym Johnson

• Score: 23 (8,7,8)
• “The Raiders March” from “Raiders of the Lost Ark”

J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff – Paso Doble (Week 9)

• Song: Theme Song to “The Legend of Zorro” by James Horner
• Score: 23 (8,7,8)

Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus

• Score: 21 (7,7,7) Week 4 (Movie Week)
• “Flash’s Theme” from “Flash Gordon”

Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer

• Score: 21
• “Gonna Fly Now” from Rocky

Hope Solo & Maksim Chmerkovskiy – Paso Doble ( Week 9 )

• Song: “Can’t Be Tamed” by Miley Cyrus
• Score: 21

DWTS 13: Compare Tango

Ricki Lake & Derek Hough

• Score: 29 (10,9,10) Week 4
• Theme from: “Psycho”

Robert Kardashian & Cheryl Burke

• Score: 25 (9, 8, 8)
• “The Addams Family Theme”—from The Addams Family

J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff

• Score: 25 (9,8,8)
• “Ghostbusters Theme” by Ray Parker Jr.

Hope Solo & Maksim Chmerkovskiy

• Score: 24 (8, 8, 8) Week 5
• “Livin’ On A Prayer” by Bon Jovi

David Arquette & Kym Johnson

• Score: 25 (8,9,8) Week 5
• “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell

Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus – Tango (Week 8)

• Song: “The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane” by The Ames Brothers
• Score: 24

Carson Kressley & Anna Trebunskaya

• Score: 23 (8,7,8) Week 3
• “It’s My Life” by No Doubt

Chynna Phillips & Tony Dovolani

• Score: 21 (7,7,7) Week 4
• Theme from: Mission: Impossible

Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer

• Score: 19 (7,6,6)
• “The Phantom of the Opera” from “The Phantom of the Opera”

Team tango: David Arquette & Kym Johnson, Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus,
J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff

• Score: 23 (8,7,8)
• “Disturbia” by Rihanna

DWTS 13, Week 6: JR and Ricki on top; Chaz at bottom

Tonight on “Dancing with the Stars,” it was Broadway week and Carson Kressley was sorely missed. We’re glad they brought Kressley back as a “creative director.”

Vote online

Again, J.R. Martinez and his partner Karina Smirnoff were on top, but they were joined by Ricki Lake and her partner Derek Hough.

Both teams performed the quickstep and received two tens–both from Carrie Ann Inaba and Bruno Tonioli. Head judge Len Goodman didn’t think these teams were perfection.

The real surprise of the night was who finished in third place: Nancy Grace and her partner Tristan MacManus. Nancy received her first nine. Not bad for the oldest competitor this season.

Chaz Bono and his partner Lacey Schwimmer returned to the bottom with a 19 for their tango performed to “The Phantom of the Opera.” Still, it is likely that Bono will survive tomorrow night’s elimination.

Probably the couple really in danger is soccer player Hope Solo and her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy who were just one point ahead of Bono and Schwimmer with a 20 for their rumba to “Season of Love” from the musical “Rent.”

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• J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff : 29
• Ricki Lake & Derek Hough : 29
• Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus : 24
• David Arquette & Kym Johnson : 23
• Robert Kardashian & Cheryl Burke : 22
• Hope Solo & Maksim Chmerkovskiy : 20
• Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer : 19

CHA CHA CHA

Robert Kardashian & Cheryl Burke : 22 (8, 7, 7) to “Walk Like a Man” from “Jersey Boys”

Kardashian and Burke would at this point be the second best team in the cha cha cha.

• See previous cha cha cha performances.

Here’s the scene from the musical:

FOXTROT

Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus : 24 to ”Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” from “Monty Python’s Spamalot”

QUICKSTEP

J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff : 29 (10,9,10) to ”Hot Honey Rag” from “Chicago”

Ricki Lake & Derek Hough : 29 (10,9,10) to ”Luck Be a Lady” from “Guys and Dolls.”

David Arquette & Kym Johnson : 23 to ”We Go Together” from “Grease”

All of these teams scored better than the teams who had performed the quickstep during previous weeks.

• Other quickstep performances

RUMBA

Hope Solo & Maksim Chmerkovskiy: 20 (7, 6, 7) to ”Seasons of Love” from “Rent.”

TANGO

Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer : 19 (7, 6, 6) to “The Phantom of the Opera” from “The Phantom of the Opera.”

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE COUPLE

J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff : 29

• 1-800-868-3410
• TEXT: 3410

Ricki Lake & Derek Hough : 29

• 1-800-868-3411
• TEXT: 3411

Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus : 24

• 1-800-868-3405
• TEXT: 3405

David Arquette & Kym Johnson : 23

• 1-800-868-3406
• TEXT: 3406

Robert Kardashian & Cheryl Burke : 22

• 1-800-868-3402
• TEXT: 3402

Hope Solo & Maksim Chmerkovskiy : 20

• 1-800-868-3408
• TEXT: 3408

Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer : 19

• 1-800-868-3412
• TEXT: 3412

Of course, I have to leave you with clips from the movies “Sweet Charity” and Cabaret.” Tomorrow I’ll add the celebrity performances to this article.

DWTS 13: Compare Jive

JIVE

Ricki Lake & Derek Hough — Team DRickilous 

• Score: 23 (8, 7, 8) ”Hey Ya!”—OutKast

Chynna Phillips & Tony Dovolani — Team ChynnaDove

• Score: 22 (7, 7, 7) ”The Boy Does Nothing”—Alesha Dixon

J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff — Team Martinoff 

• Score: 22 (7, 7, 8) “Jump, Jive an’ Wail”—The Brian Setzer Orchestra

Robert Kardashian & Cheryl Burke — Team CherBert 

• Score: 21 (7, 7, 7) ”Surfin’ Safari”—The Beach Boys

Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus

• Score: 21 (7, 7, 7)
• “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” by Charlie Daniels Band

Hope Solo & Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Team MakSolo 

• Score: 19 (6, 7, 6) ”Girlfriend”—Avril Lavigne

Carson Kressley & Anna Trebunskaya — Team CarsonAnna 

• Score: 19 (6, 6, 7)
• “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” by Wham!

David Arquette  & Kym Johnson — Team Good Times 

• Score: 18 (6, 6, 6) ”Runaway Baby”—Bruno Mars

DWTS 13: Compare Quickstep

QUICKSTEP

J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff (week 6)

• Score: 29 (10,9,10)
• “Hot Honey Rag” from “Chicago”

Ricki Lake & Derek Hough

• Score: 29 (10,9,10) (week 6)
• “Luck Be a Lady” from “Guys and Dolls.”

Robert Kardashian & Cheryl Burke – Quickstep (Week 8)

• Song: “Take on Me” by Aha
• Score: 27

Hope Solo & Maksim Chmerkovskiy – Quickstep (Week 8)

• Song: “Valerie” by Amy Winehouse
• Score: 27

David Arquette & Kym Johnson

• Score: 23 (8,7,8)
• “We Go Together” from Grease

Kristin Cavallari & Mark Ballas — Team KristinBalls

• Score: 22 (8, 7, 7) ”Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”—Marilyn Monroe

Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus — Team MacGrace 

• Score 21 (6, 8, 7) ”It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing)”—The Andrews Sisters

Elisabetta Canalis & Val Chmerkovskiy — Team Valisabetta 

• Score: 21 (7, 7, 7) ”Don’t Get Me Wrong”—The Pretenders

Carson Kressley & Anna Trebunskaya — Team CarsonAnna 

• Score: 18 (6, 6, 6) ”Walking Back to Happiness”—Helen Shapiro

Chaz Bono  & Lacey Schwimmer — Team Schwaz 

• Score: 17 (6, 5, 6)
• “Dancing in the Street” by Mick Jagger and David Bowie

DWTS 13, Week 5 Results: Less Fab on the dance floor

“Dancing with the Stars” fans knew this day was coming. Our favorite dancing fabulous fashionista was never a fab dancer, but he was funny and entertaining. Things are definitely going to be duller without Carson Kressley who was eliminated tonight.

Carson Kressley and his partner Anna Trebunskaya had been the lowest scoring team for the last two weeks. Kressley never really got the posture or technique, but he did get into the flamboyance and glitter and added over-the-top campiness. He was bad, but he was splendidly, sparklingly bad.

Is there any other couple that brings such fabulous fun to the dance floor this season?

Actor David Arquette has proven that he can project an interesting persona these last two weeks. Reality TV celebrity Robert Kardashian has a shy, but winning grace. Both men are blossoming.

Nancy Grace is competent, but she doesn’t really give us those great TV moments. Hope Solo has a tense chemistry with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, but she still doesn’t seem to be comfortable in those dancing shoes.

Chaz Bono has a following and a famous mom, and maybe he’s genetically wired to get the musical beat, but he’s not much of a performer.

Ricki Lake has the confidence and J.R. Martinez has some great moves. Yet without Carson Kressley, where is the fun? We didn’t expect Kressley to make the semi-finals, but we had hoped that Chynna Phillips would.

We’re sorry to see Kressley go, but we know he’ll be back for color commentary. We need more glitter over here!

• Week 1: Cha cha cha
• Score: 17 (6,5,6)
• “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 & Christina Aguilera

• Week 2: Quickstep
• 18 (6,6,6)
• “Walkin’ Back to Happiness” by Helen Shapiro

• Week 3: Tango
• 23 (8,7,8)
• Tango
• “It’s My Life” by No Doubt

• Week 4: Viennese Waltz
• 20 (7,6,7)
• “The Black Pearl”

• Week 5: Jive
• 19 (6,6,7)
• “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” by Wham!