DWTS: Chubby men, Chaz, Cher and the cha cha cha

I am thankful that Chaz Bono was voted off–not because he was transgender, not because he was an overweight man, but because he could not dance. His dances lacked content and he lacked stage presence.

Hope Solo, who is famous in her own right because of her athletic skills as a soccer player, is ungainly and needs to learn how to walk in heels (I’m afraid she only knows heel lead and her pivoting skills are closer to basketball than ballroom), but she has a mega-watt smile. If she were really angry, she’s be frightening as well.

Bono had been treated kindly by the judges and he’s been whiny–about how much physical discipline hurts at his age. Yet he’s not the oldest person on stage. Ricki Lake is about the same age and overweight, but she can perform.  And you’d think with a war vet in the cast, Bono would zip his lip about his suffering.

Now Chaz Bono’s mother has jumped into the fray. Bono forgets that Bruno Tonioli was a professional dancer and he’s still in pretty good shape. He recently posed nude for a charity. I’m not sure why Cher decided to lash out at Len Goodman.

I COULD TEACH HIS LITTLE ARM WAVING ASS SOME MANNERS ! Critique CHAZ’S DANCE STYLE, MOVEMENTS ETC,.BUT DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY CHILD ON NAT.TV

IS IT DWTS Or LOOKING PERFECT WTS? ITS EASY 4 HIM 2 TAKE CHEAP SHOTS AT CHAZ ! LET HIM COME 2 “MY” STAGE

Enough time wasted on Bully Judge! The nite I was there I had GREAT TIME!I Loved watching every1! I was So excited ! Laughing,talking FUN!

As for the Older Gentleman ….every Show Needs A Grumpy Old Man !

Goodman and Tonioli have been kind, perhaps too kind to this Los Angeles-born kid who is acting spoiled. Tonioli didn’t call Bono a troll. He called him a penguin. A cute penguin. Men in tuxes have been called penguins before. Nothing new. Tonioli called someone else a penguin. You can see below.

Tonioli also called Bono an Ewok. That is the warmest and fuzziest creature in the Star Wars universe.

If this is seriously a question of talent, Cher should admit her son doesn’t have it. If not for his famous mother and father, he wouldn’t be there.

How did other chubby men get treated? Let’s look at a few of them.

Kyle Massey (b. 1991)

• Season 11
• Partner Lacey Schwimmer
• Week 1: 23 (8,7,8) Cha cha cha
• Week 2: 22 (8,7,7) Quickstep
• Week 3: 23 (8,7,8) Waltz
• Week 4:  18 (6,6,6) Rumba
• Week 5: 20 (8,5,7) Foxtrot
• Week 6: 23 (8,7,8) Tango
• Week 7: 35 (10,9,8,8) Paso doble
• Week 8: 27 (9,9,9) Viennese waltz
• Week 8: 29 (10,9,10) Jive
• Week 9: 29 (10,9,10) Samba
• Week 9: 29 (10,9,10) Argentine tango
• Week 10: 27 (9,9,9) Foxtrot
• Week 10: 29 (10,9,10) Freestyle

Massey did well enough to make the finals and finished second. I don’t have time yet to check out Tonioli’s comments, but will try to post them later.

John Ratzenberger (b. 1947)

• Season 4 (Spring 2007)
• Partner Edyta Sliwinska
• Sixth couple eliminated
• Week 1: 17 (6,5,6) Cha cha cha
• Week 2: 21 (7,7,7) Quickstep
• Week 3: 20 (7,6,7) Tango
• Week 4: 16 (6,5,5) Paso doble
• Week 5: 18 (6,6,6) Samba
• Week 6: 19 (7,6,6) Mambo

Ratzenberger had a week less time to prepare than his fellow competitors as a replacement. Carrie Ann Inaba called him “charismatic.” Tonioli and Goodman talked about heel lead, but thought he had content.

Ratzenberger was 60.  Tonioli said there was “plenty of life in the old wolf.” Inaba said he gave it pizzaz. Goodman was smiling, and said it was a great performance.

Goodman said Ratzenberger got into character well. Tonioli called it a mafioso tango.

Ratzenberger’s mother was sweet as apple pie.  Tonioli said he lacked Spanish lines and was a bit lost.  Goodman said he thought the dance didn’t suit him and the dance was “a bit of disaster.”

The samba wasn’t good either. Low on content. Tonioli said Ratzenberger “tapped into his inner child” and one of the “best worst” samba. Inaba stood and applauded him. Goodman thought he gave the character of the dance.

Inaba called him a “dancing teddy bear.” Goodman thought the actual routine was awful and that Ratzenberger waddled like a duck, but Goodman liked that he enjoyed himself. Tonioli compared the two to the owl and the pussycat.

Steve Wozniak (b. 1950)

• Season 8 (Spring 2009)
• Partner Karina Smirnoff
• Fourth couple eliminated.
• Week 1: 13 (5,4,4) cha cha cha
• Week 2: 17 (6,5,6) Quickstep
• Week 3: 10 (4,3,3) Samba
• Week 4: 12 (4,4,4) Argentine tango

This dance was hard to watch. Goodman said he held his attention, but “overall it was a disaster.” Tonioli said it was “hilarious or delirious.” Inaba was encouraging. The Woz had fun.

The Woz had a fracture in his foot and wore a walking cast. Goodman thought he had the fun quality. Inaba enjoyed watching it. Tonioli compared him to WALL-E.

The Woz pulled a hamstring on Friday and still danced on Monday. Amazing. He did a knee walk and a worm. Inaba called him cute and adorable, but disliked the lack of content. Goodman thought the “dances are killing you” and the dance was terrible from start to finish. Tonioli called it the worst samba he had ever seen.

Inaba couldn’t find something positive to say. Goodman admired his spirit. Tonioli thought it “really stunk.”

WORST DANCERS

Master P (b. 1967)

• Season 2 (Winter 2006)
• Partner Ashly DelGrosso
• Fourth couple eliminated
• Winner: Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke
• Week 1: 12 (4,4,4) Cha cha cha
• Week 2: 16 (6,5,5) Quickstep
• Week 3: 14 (6,4,4) Jive
• Week 4: 8 (4, 2, 2) Paso doble
• Winner: Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough

Master P only had one week to prepare.  Tonioli compared Master P to an Emperor penguin.  Goodman thought he had good posture, but needed to practice. Goodman wanted to see Master P in ballroom shoes.

Goodman told him to get real dance shoes. Inaba called him heavy-footed. Tonioli said the “dancer is starting to emerge.”

Inaba thought he gave effort but not enough content. Tonioli found it was the “ghost of rock n’ roll” and not up to the level they were looking for. Goodman called it “ponderous” and thought it was time that this show and Master P parted.

Tonioli called it a nightmare as if Master P was a lost child on the dance floor. Goodman thought it was cruel to the judges and everyone for his fans to bring Master P back.

Buzz Aldrin (b. 1930)

• Season 10 (Spring 2010)
• Week 1: 14 (5,4,5) Cha cha cha
• Week 2: 12 (4,4,4) Foxtrot
• Week 3: 13 (5,4,4) Waltz
• Winner: Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough

Goodman commended him for his bravery on the dance floor. Tonioli asked how could he criticize a hero, but commented it looked like Aldrin still had his moon boots on.

Inaba called it tender and charming. Goodman just said Aldrin inspired people. Tonioli thought Aldrin looked like he was avoiding moon craters on the dance floor.

Tonioli thought Aldrin was regal when he was standing still. Inaba thought the storytelling was touching. Goodman found it had an innocent charm but the technique was poor and the routine oversimplified.

Michael Bolton (b. 1953)

• Season 11 (Fall 2010)
• Partner Chelsea Hightower
• Week 1: 16 (6,5,5) Viennese waltz
• Week 2: 12 (4,5,3) Jive
• Winner: Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough

Inaba thought Bolton needed to smile and provide the frame. Goodman thought he had musicality and good posture. Tonioli told Bolton he needed to relax.

Goodman found the dance didn’t fit him. Tonioli said “it was a doggy mess of a jive” and this was the “worst jive in 11 seasons.”

DWTS 13: New cast

When the cast for season 13 was revealed last night, there were a few surprises. The biggest was no football heroes. Then there was the Hugh Hefner presence. None of his former girlfriends was part of the cast. Even more surprising: no Disney stars. There is an Olympic gold medal winner: Hope Solo.

David Arquette is an actor and movie producer who is mostly known for Hollywood movies from the 1990s and being married to former “Friends” star and current “Cougar Town” headliner Courteney Cox. The couple is currently separated but friendly.

Arquette was in such movies as the 1996-2011 4-movie”Scream” series, “Wild Bill” and the original 1992 movie “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” He might be considered an athlete since he won the one-time WCW World Heavyweight Championship in 2000.  If I remember correctly, he was also in a stage version of “Rocky Horror” in Hollywood in the 1990s.

Born 8 September 1971 in Winchester, Virginia, Arquette is 39. His siblings (Rosanna, Alexis, Richmond and Patricia) are also actors. Arquette appeared on Patricia Arquette’s series “Medium” as her brother Michael.

Ron Artest was the NBA Defensive Player of the Year in 2004 and currently plays for the Los Angeles Lakers. He is known for his outspoken behavior, but nothing as bad as Dennis Rodman so far. He was part of the Pacers-Pistons Brawl in 2004 during the 1 November 2004 game between the Detroit Pistons and the Indiana Pacers at the Palace of Auburn Hills in Auburn Hills, Michigan. A drink was thrown from the stands  at Artest, then a Pacers team member. Artest was suspended for the remainder of the season (86 games).  Four other Pacers received suspensions (30-1 games) and four Pistons were also suspended (6-1 games).

Artest was with the Chicago Bulls (1999-2002), then the Indiana Pacers (2002-2006), the Sacramento Kings (2006-2008), the Houston Rockets (2008-2009) and finally with the Lakers (2009 to present). He was part of the NBA championship team in 2010.

Born in Queens, New York on 13 November 1979, Artest is 31.

Chaz Bono has brought up in the spotlight as the only child of Sonny Bono and Cher. Born a girl (Chastity Bono) on 4 March 1969, Bono is a transgender man. Bono came out to her parents as a lesbian when she was 18 and she was not initially accepted by her parents according to her 1998 book, “Family Outing.” Bono came out as a lesbian in 1995 with an interview published in “The Advocate.” A year later, her mother Cher agreed to appear on the cover of the same magazine as the proud parent of a lesbian. When her father Sonny Bono died from a skiing accident in January 1998, Chaz and her father had not spoken for about a year.

Bono’s physical transition from female to male began in 2008. The legal transition was completed last year (2010) and the documentary “Becoming Chaz” on his sex change debuted at the Sunday Film Festival this year.

At 42, the transgender activist and spokesman will have to get in shape to keep up with some of the younger contestants.

Elisabetta Canalis is listed as a model, but the Italian-born beauty has had small acting roles in movies such as the 2005 “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” and in Italian movies. In 2010, she had a recurring role on the TNT series “Leverage.”

To American audience members, she might be best known as George Clooney’s former girlfriend (June 2009-June 2011).

Born in Sassari, Italy on 12 September 1978, she is 32.

Kristin Elizabeth Cavallari is a reality TV star, from MTV’s “Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County” and “The Hills.” You might recall that her castmate, Audrina Patridge (seasons 1-6) was also on “Dancing with the Stars” during season 11. Patridge was paired with Tony Dovolani and did moderately well with the judges, but were eliminated during week 6 and finished seventh due to lack of fan support. Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough won that season. Yet the big surprise that season was the support base for Bristol Palin.

Cavallari was only on “The Hills” season 5-6. Does she have the fan base to win DWTS? Her UPN reality series “Get This Party Started” was canceled after two episodes due to low ratings in 2006.

The Denver, Colorado born Cavallari is 24 (5 January 1987).

Nancy Grace is perhaps the most educated contestant. She received her B.A. and J.D. from  Mercer University and Master of Laws from New York University. Originally, she had intended to be an English teacher because of her love for Shakespeare, but when her fiance was murdered, she enrolled in law school to become a felony prosecutor and to fight for victims’ rights.

Grace was a special prosecutor for the Atlanta-Fulton County District Attorney in Georgia where she worked on serial murder, serial rape, serial child molestation and arson cases. There were accusations of prosecutorial misconduct in 1994, 1997 and 2002.

Since leaving the the district attorney’s office, she has become a legal commentator on a variety of programs including “Closing Arguments” from 1996-2007 and “Nancy Grace” from 2005-present.

Grace was born in Macon, Georgia on 23 October 1959. She is married to David Linch (since 2007) and has two children. At 51, she is one of the older contestants.

Rob Kardashian Jr. is a reality star from “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” and “Khloe & Lamar.”  Kardashian graduated from USC in 2009 with a B.A. in business. He is a manager for a music group, BG5. He has worked as a model. None of these things suggest that he will do well on DWTS.

His sister Kim appeared on DWTS on season 7 with the popular Mark Ballas as her partner, but they were the third couple eliminated. And that was in 2008, after her sex tape with Ray J. surfaced in February 2007.

Rob was born in Los Angeles on 17 March 1987, and at 24 he should have the stamina and as a model the looks, but does he have a fan base? If Kim didn’t, then it’s really doubtful he will.

Carson Kressley may be an unfamiliar name to most but he was the fashion expert for the TV program “Queer Eye” as one of the Fab Five on the Bravo series which ran from 2003-2007. The series won an Emmy in 2004. He is also the host for the Lifetime TV show, “How to Look Good Naked” the U. S. version of a successful British show.  Then there’s “Carson-Nation” a new reality show where Carson travels to small towns in the U.S. and transforms one person.

Kressley was born in Pennsylvania (11 November 1979) and currently lives in New York City. He worked for Ralph Lauren from 1994-2002. Besides being a stylist and fashion savant, he is a respected horse show exhibitor of Saddlebred show horses.

Ricki Lake starred in the original John Waters’ 1988 film “Hairspray” and  Divine played her mother.  Sonny Bono and Debbie Harry played the pushy parents of her enemy Amber Von Tussle (Coleen Fitzpatrick). She appeared in other Waters films such as the 2000 “Cecil B. Demented” which starred Melanie Griffith and Maggie Gyllenhaal (with a cameo by Patricia Hearst), the 1990 musical “Cry-Baby” which starred Johnny Depp, Iggy Pop and Traci Lords (and Patty Hearst), and the 1994 “Serial Mom”  which starred Kathleen Turner (Lake played her daughter). Lake recently had a cameo appearance in the 2007 musical movie version of “Hairspray.”

Lake joined the cast of the Vietnam War TV series “China Beach” during season 3. The series ran for four seasons (1988-1991).  Lake had a daytime talk show from 1993-2004. Lake is developing a new talk show set to begin in  September 2012.

Lake is a divorced mother of two boys. They recently escaped a fire that destroyed their Malibu home in 2010. Lake is 42 (21 September 1968).

J.R. Martinez is a former U.S. Army soldier who in 2003 received severe burns over 40 percent of his body while in Iraq. The Humvee he was driving hit a landmine. He underwent over 30 surgeries. He travels around the country as a motivational speaker. He currently plays Brot Monroe on ABC’s soap opera “All My Children” (since 7 November 2008).

Martinez may have a fan base from the soap opera crowd as well as former and current soldiers. Born in Shreveport, Louisiana, Martinez has family ties to El Salvador and is 28 (14 June 1983).

Chynna Phillips (43) was born in Los Angeles, on 12 February 1968 to John and Michelle Phillips of The Mamas & the Paspas band. She is the half-sister of Mackenzie Phillips, Bijou Phillips, Jeffrey Phillips, Tamerlane Phillips and Austin Hines.

Phillips appeared in the 1987 “Some Kind of Wonderful,” in the 1988 “Moving Target” and in the 1989 “Say Anything.” She starred as the title character in the 1989 biographical movie “Roxanne: The Prize Pulitzer.”

With Carnie and Wendy Wilson, she formed the Wilson Phillips and released an self-titled debut album in 1990. Their second album, “Shadows and Light,” was considered a commercial failure when released in 1992. Her own debut solo album “Naked and Sacred” was also unsuccessful in 1995. Wilson Phillips reunited in 2004 to record covers of popular songs from West Coast  singers during the 1960s-1970s.

More recently, she teamed with singer Vaughan Penn as “Chynna and Penn” and released “One Reason” in 2009.

Phillips is married to William Baldwin (1995) and they have two daughters and one son.

Hope Solo was born in Richland, Washington on 30 July 1981. She is the current goalkeeper for the U.S. Women’s national soccer team. As part of the Olympics team that went to Beijing in 2008, she won a gold medal. The team defeated Brazil.

Her father was a Vietnam vet who divorced when Solo was six. It was her father Jeffrey, who taught her how to play soccer.

Solo has played for the Washington Huskies (1999-2002), the Philadelphia Charge (2003), Kopparbergs/Goteborg in Sweden (2004), Lyon in France (2005), Saint Louis Athletica (2009-2010), the Atlanta Beat (2010) and currently is with the magicJack.

Solo was part of the FIFA 2011 US team. The U.S. team lost to Japan 3-1 in the finals, but Solo won the “Gold Glove” award for best goalkeeper and the “Bronze Ball” award for overall performance during the tournament and was named to the all-star team.

Dancing with the Stars will begin on 19 September 2011 and end on 21 November 2011 on ABC. Returning professional dancers will be: Derek Hough, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Cheryl Burke, Tony Dovolani, Mark Ballas, Lacey Schwimmer, Karina Smirnoff, Anna Trebunskaya, and Kym Johnson. New professional dancers will be: Valentin Chmerkovski, Peta Murgatroyd and Tristan McManus. Valentin is Maksim’s brother. Murgatroyd and McManus were in the DWTS dance troupe last season.

Burlesque: trailers and dance numbers

Cam Gigandet and Christina Aguilera cute-meet scene

Cher performing “Welcome to Burlesque”

Cher and Christina Aguilera in a short scene.

“But I Am a Good Girl”

“Express”

Julianne Hough and Cher scene clip

Commercial clip

Commercial clip

Lady Gaga dominates MTV VMA 2010 (VIDEO)

Lady Gaga can dress down and she can dress up and she can sweep the MTV VMA ceremony as she proved Sunday, 12 September 2010 at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles. Lady Gaga won Video of the Year, Best Pop Video, Best Female Video, Best Dance Video, Best Choreography, Best Direction and Best Editing for one video: “Bad Romance.” Lady Gaga also won Best Collaboration for her video with Beyonce “Telephone” (the long version).

Francis Lawrence directed “Bad Romance.”  Jonas Akerlund directed “Telephone.”

Lady Gaga accepted her Best Female Video award from Ellen DeGeneres in the costume she arrived in. She changed into a different costume (basic black, but not boring) when she accepted her Best Pop Video award from Fox TV “Glee” stars Cory Monteith and Jane Lynch.

Lady Gaga accepted her Video of the Year award from another singer known for her costuming, Cher. Cher wore a black body suit with strategic cut outs covered with mesh, but Lady Gaga opted for the controversial meat dress.  Other nominated videos were “Kings and Queens” by 30 Seconds to Mars, “Airplanes” by B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams, “Not Afraid” by Eminem, “Dog Days Are Over” by Florence + the Machine, and “Telephone” by Lady Gaga and Beyonce.

Also nominated for Best Dance Music Video were Cascada’s “Evacuate the Dance Floor,” David Guetta’s “Sexy Chick,” Enrique Iglesias’ “I Like It,” and Usher’s “OMG.”

Nominated for Best Choreography were “Video Phone (Extended Remix)” by Beyonce, “California Gurls by Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg, Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok,” and Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen.”

For photos, visit our column at Examiner.com.